How To Be a Booze Mooch

Considering how expensive drinking can get, especially if you factor in the cost of future substance abuse conseling, it’s a good idea to figure out how to get free drinks every once in a while unless you’re the type who can afford a $10,000 martini. Well, it appears that Houston Press has put together a handy guide to getting free booze. The key methods:

  • Go to art gallery openings.
  • Get to know bartenders and bouncers.
  • Find out about industry events, especially via MySpace.com.
  • Crash parties, such as those posted on Facebook.com.
  • Get drinks from promotions, e.g. the Johnnie Walker Journey of Taste event I just posted.
  • If you’re a male, hit on gay men for free drinks. If you’re a woman, then you can just bat your eyelashes at the nearest straight guy.
  • Go on factory tours of breweries and the such.
  • Just plan scam your way into parties to which you’re not invited.

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Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza.
     —Dave Barry