Bum Wine Reviews
I can’t believe I hadn’t seen this website before. Check out BumWine.com. It has funny, sarcastic reviews of five not-quite-top-shelf “beverages for the economical drunkard”: Cisco, MD 20/20, Night Train Express, Thunderbird, and Wild Irish Rose. It also has an “Others” page that includes Boone’s Farm, Buckfast Tonic Wine, Ripple, and Sly Fox. For an idea of what you’re getting into, here’s an excerpt from the review for Cisco:
Known as “liquid crack,” for its reputation for wreaking more mental havoc than the cheapest tequila. Something in this syrupy hooch seems to have a synapse-blasting effect not unlike low-grade cocaine.
…
Our research shows that Cisco is actually the second best tasting of the five great bum wines, especially if you’re having one of those hankerings for cheap Vodka, Jello and Robitussin. We must also note that Cisco is the best of all 5 bum wines at putting the darkest and puffiest bags under your eyes.
March 20th, 2006 at 1:38 pm
Courtney Cochrane wrote about this one too and even went through an experiment of trying to get Thunderbird to taste good. Not bad for a sommelier.
http://www.courtneycochran.com/blog/2005/11/bird-is-back.html
January 10th, 2007 at 3:14 pm
As I recall, the commercials used to tell us to mix Thunderbird and grapefruit juice. Shake it up.