How To Make Royalty Look Good

King Juan Carlos

  1. Find a bear, preferably a good-natured one raised on a farm.
  2. Feed the bear a mixture of honey and vodka.
  3. Push the bear onto a field.
  4. Give his highness a rifle.
  5. Have his highness kill the bear with one shot.

Incidentally, giving a bear vodka is not illegal in Russia. However, killing a tame bear (not a wild one) may be illegal. This, of course, comes up due to news that King Juan Carlos of Spain may killed a tame and liquored-up bear on a recent trip to Russia.

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An alcoholic is someone you don't like who drinks as much as you do.
     —Dylan Thomas