At Least It’s Not a Finger

Dawn LaPlanter and her mother Mary Shiff of Joplin, MO had the pleasure of discovering a mollusk in a bottle of Heineken. Um, ew. Can anyone say “millionaires”? However, the two apparently don’t want to sue. They just want their money back.

Note to self: check bottom of Heineken bottle before drinking.

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When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.
     —Henny Youngman